Elocution Enthusiast T-Shirts

'There's no easy way to say this... IDIOSYNCRASY.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Inclusive speech

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

What's normal?

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Evolution Exam Results.

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Allegro con molto espresso

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I think we may be related!"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

I told you we were late!

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"Where are you going? I said we need to talk."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'