Elite Entry Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I often mistake a twenty pound note for a membership card."

Sloaney Pony.

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Fishing Boat Derby

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Big Guys vs Little Guys

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

"But seriously, medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences aside, who are you?"

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

Eight puns

'Our competition is quite energetic.'

"Having a fine old name really has been enough for me."

"I'm a Dinosaur, Hargraves, and I'm no herbivore."

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'Ok cup cake looks like its time to meet your maker.'

Coulda, shoulda, woulda... DID!

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

Qualifications

'Oh yeah MY Dad's PowerPoint presentations are better than YOUR Dad's'

'Friends are important...but you need enemies to keep your edge.'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."