Elite Education Pundits Pillows

"I flunked out my last semester."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Skeptic Tank.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

National Living Wage from April 1st.

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

New Year 2020

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

World Health Organization

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

'This is our real-time chat room.'

Voter Suppression

Avoid talking about personal and domestic issues at interviews, unless asked.