Elf Appreciator Pillows

"Santa would like to talk to you in the office."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

High security Santa's grotto

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Elfie Stick

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

Surreal ale

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

And when we came home, the entire anthill was gone... It was awful, Mom - but at least Harry and I still have each other...

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"Don't even think about it."

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

Things we need to acknowledge

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

Full Serve/Elf Serve

Goblin.

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"Finally, it's Spring! I missed you! Let's go and play!"

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

'Hey, scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.'