Elf Appreciator Pillows

"Santa would like to talk to you in the office."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

High security Santa's grotto

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Elfie Stick

Surreal ale

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

And when we came home, the entire anthill was gone... It was awful, Mom - but at least Harry and I still have each other...

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

"Don't even think about it."

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

Things we need to acknowledge

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

"Finally, it's Spring! I missed you! Let's go and play!"

Full Serve/Elf Serve

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

'Hey, scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.'

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'