Elf Admirers Pillows

An elf fuel-filling prophecy.

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

High security Santa's grotto

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Elfie Stick

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

Elephant ass selfie.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Table Of The Elephants

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"Don't even think about it."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Self driving car containing a baby elephant

Elephant Trunk and Hose Pipe.

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"