Elf Admirers Pillows

An elf fuel-filling prophecy.

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

High security Santa's grotto

Elfie Stick

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

Elephant ass selfie.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

Table Of The Elephants

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"Don't even think about it."

Self driving car containing a baby elephant

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

I see braces in his future.

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

Elephant Trunk and Hose Pipe.

"now let's try one without the tusks."

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."