Elevator Phobics Pillows

Up, Down, Plummet (waiting for elevator)

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Going Down?

Thumbing a Lift.

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

Elevator charge $1.00.

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

The guy who got in on the ground floor

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

A Fork-lift.

"This thing is so slow!"

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'Going up?'

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"Do we look like we're going up?"

'Yeh right! Always blame the dung beetle!' - An elevator mishap.

'You can't use the elevator as guestroom!'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.

'Funny place to put an esculator.'

"It's vitally important to me that we beat the other elevator."

Executive Elevator: Up Only