Electronics Store Owner Prints

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

Witch Hardware

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

'Uh-oh.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"You never know what will catch on!"

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Men's Prayer Group.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Joan of Arch

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

Bob tries to cash in on Hollywood's success.

Bob's DIY Store

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"