Electoral Officer Pillows

'And the winner, with 50% of the vote, is... the spoilt ballot paper!'

Voter Rights Diminished

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Trump Poutine

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

DUNVOTIN

Elections

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

'Why are these polling places so hard to get to?"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Cannibalism and 'The Hunger Games.'

Midterm election s results

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'Why should I vote for a two-bit lame-brained nobody, when i could vote for a two-bit lamb-brained somebody with 'name recognition'?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

Biden-Trump rematch 2024

"The poll results are in. Our lies are resonating with the public way more than our opponent's lies."

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

EU Polling Station

'I know I was just here yesterday, but the courts ordered a recount.'

'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'

'I stopped paying attention to polls since a poll showed voters prefer someone who ignores the polls.'