Elections Pillows

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo! Political pollsters.

Sheep voting for either a wolf or a lion.

OK, buy! No, wait... sell! No, change that... sell! No... buy! No... sell! Buy!

Opinion polls

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

Redistricting.

'Another 'undecided'.'

"If an election were held tomorrow, which party would you vote for?" "The wine and cheese party."

'My greatest asset is I'm so rich, I can't be bought by any interest group.'

'Basically, Son, the Democrats are donkeys, the Republicans are elephants, and the rest of us are roadkill.'

"His vote doesn't count, but at least he gets a sense of being part of the process."

It's not the winning. It's the taking part that counts. Vote Lib Dem.

'I didn't have any idea who I was going to vote for... then I saw a lawn sign...'

"The President is closing in the polls, but he still needs hurricanes in several key states."

'When I took the special-interest money, it didn't seem all that special.'

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

'I'd like to respond to that criticism by saying that I'm rubber, and you're glue.'

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

An election candidate giving contradicting promises.

'Flying pig in glass case. Sign reads: Break glass in the event of Tory victory.'

Will Legislate For Contributions

"I was checking to see how many promises the candidates will break, and my computer couldn't take it and blew up."

Let´s Get Brexit Done

'I've gone off organized political parties.'

Schwarzenegger flexes muscle for Californain Governor's race.

'I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.'

Does it spark joy?

'If you can't beat 'em... Cheat 'em!'

"And if elected, I promise to keep making promises."

'You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote.'

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

Bernie vs Trump

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."