Elections T-Shirts

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo! Political pollsters.

Sheep voting for either a wolf or a lion.

Opinion polls

OK, buy! No, wait... sell! No, change that... sell! No... buy! No... sell! Buy!

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

Redistricting.

'Another 'undecided'.'

'My greatest asset is I'm so rich, I can't be bought by any interest group.'

'Basically, Son, the Democrats are donkeys, the Republicans are elephants, and the rest of us are roadkill.'

"If an election were held tomorrow, which party would you vote for?" "The wine and cheese party."

Will Legislate For Contributions

An election candidate giving contradicting promises.

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

"The President is closing in the polls, but he still needs hurricanes in several key states."

'Flying pig in glass case. Sign reads: Break glass in the event of Tory victory.'

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

It's not the winning. It's the taking part that counts. Vote Lib Dem.

'I'd like to respond to that criticism by saying that I'm rubber, and you're glue.'

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

"His vote doesn't count, but at least he gets a sense of being part of the process."

'I didn't have any idea who I was going to vote for... then I saw a lawn sign...'

'When I took the special-interest money, it didn't seem all that special.'

'I've gone off organized political parties.'

'My opinion? Gee, that's a toughie...Can you give me a hint?'

'If you can't beat 'em... Cheat 'em!'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

Schwarzenegger flexes muscle for Californain Governor's race.

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

Does it spark joy?

'...And if elected, my foreign policy advisor will have a pronounceable name and speak with a Midwestern accent!'

'You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote.'

"I was checking to see how many promises the candidates will break, and my computer couldn't take it and blew up."