Election Pundit Gifts

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

'How do I get to the House of Representatives?' 'Just follow the straight and narrow till election day, and then veer sharply left.'

'Of course I didn't announce the election -- it was a secret ballot!'

'I think this candidate can be bought.'

Vote For Me!

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Hate Platforms

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Where does it all end up?

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

Obama Healthcare.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.