Elders With Humor Pillows

"Oh, that old thing? She's been wearing that for years, haven't you dear?"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Spring has arrived, the flowers they bloom. The birds start to sing a happier tune. Everything's great! I'm reborn and free! THUNK! Except from winter's potholes swallowing me.

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'You are always living in the past!'

At the Old Bikers' Home

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

'Catching flying fish!'

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

'Hey, Flower! That crabgrass put a perfectly legal chokehold on you! Stop your whining!'

Cheese maker

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

Oap recruitment.

"I don't know. Some swear by worms, others say minnows work best. I try not to get caught up in all the hype."

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

Make Love Handles Not War

'Look,you fish for bass your way and I'll fish for them my way.'

Rudolph the Shit-Faced Reindeer

'Isn't it sweet how grampa loves to keep up with technology?'

"I'm going to close my eyes and count to three. When I open them, ten of those candles better be gone."

'What bait do you use for the old tires?'

Old Pickpockets - 'Get ready to fall over.'

"Are you sure this is how you catch flying fish?"

Call of the domesticated.