Egg-centric Philosopher T-Shirts

"Okay ... if the egg did come first, who laid it?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is it free-range?"

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

Chicken: the one-man show

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

What came first, the chicken or the egg

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

Chicago School of Home Economics

"I'll have the chicken or the eggs benedict—whichever of them comes first."

"Who's next?"

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

Humpty the Game Warden

"What will change my life?"