Efficiency Chaser Pillows

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

"Looks like we found the issue."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Breakthrough

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Early Exercise Machines

'This isn't the meeting. This is the pre-premeeting to talk about when to meet and plan the meeting.'

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

Hot dog.

Finish line extended 20 miles.

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

Athlete being chased by a dog.

It's a forwarding address to a feeder in Florida. Bird seed.

I don't consider it "multitasking" when you have to do the same task over and over to get it right!

Man on motorbike.

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

Cosmic Ray

'Being a migrating bird is great: My life is like an endless summer...'

Zoology. Cheetahs can reach speeds up to sixty miles an hour! Amazing, and yet they never win!

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

'My video screen just changed to the Daytona 500.'

Cross Channel Leap

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."