Educational Investors Pillows

"It seems unjust that we have to start the kids' college funds before we pay off our students loans."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Campaign for Plain English

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

The Evolution Of Man.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

Technologies and distance classes

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

'What my stocks did during my summer vacation...'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"