Education Reform Discussion Gifts

Welcome back to school

Coronavirus Impact on Children

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

End Gun Violence

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

Elections in German - If 'The Greens' come to power. . .

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

Obsolete: Any piece of software or hardware that your school brought last year for mega bucks.

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Department of ReEducation

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

"No, you cannot impeach your teacher!"

Civilian Oversight

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'No darling, it's not a programme about choice of schools.'

'What's the point of all this school business when we can just look up things on the internet?'

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

"In a world where there's an app for everything, learning will be obsolete."

An Honest Graduation Photograph

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

Standardized Testing

'Class, due to the back to basics movement, we're going to learn how to start fires by rubbing sticks and how to hunt mammoths.'