Education Maverick Pillows

"We normally require a high school diploma, but I guess I'll let it go since you have this honorary doctorate from Cornell."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

Elevator Pitch

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Targets.

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

Gene Therapy

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Health Care Crisis table.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'