Edible Evaluator T-Shirts

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

"Ninja bread men"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Harsh Mellows.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

Big Burgers.

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Well you little rogue, how do you like this one?!' - Hm, yes, hm, yes ... After all ... well, hm, yes ... hm, yes ... Yes! ...'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'