Edgy Urban Eaters Pillows

"The best hot dogs in the city should be hard to get."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Food inspection results

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"This is a terrible table!"

Spanx Tells Me No

"What's trending?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

'Enjoy?...How?'

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

"I flew South once. Couldn't buy a decent soft pretzel."

'Maybe we should have ordered bottled water.'

"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."

"You'll like this place. The food is eclectic without being schizophrenic."

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

'Look at yourself! Ever since college, you've been different. You've changed!' Mark was right. His mother HAD changed.

'Our cuisine has moved from the eclectic to the schizophrenic.'

"I plant the kale back there to keep hipsters out of the good stuff!"

Pizza Express Take-away

Williamsburger

Sushi

"I was afraid of GMO foods until I learned they're the designer versions."

"Herbert! You don't know how to order here! It's a different language...they'll eat you alive!"