Economy Cynic Pillows

'It looks like another victim of the economy!'

Be flamboyant-today living within your means is mucking-up the economy.

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Stock market investment advice

Why markets crash.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"The candidates this year are really honest."

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

The Fed: Problems and the solution.

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

'Dad, is it true what they say about lemmings following each other off a cliff?' 'If they work at a company like mine, it is.'

"So leaving it with a broker didn't do any good at all?"

"Oh you know, insider trading and fudging the number before lunch and then some fraud in the afternoon. How was your day?"

'I don't revere this guy because he founded the company. He's the one who tried to talk me out of getting into this business in the first place.'

'I can remember when banks competed for customers...Now its shareholders.'

Yo Man

'What we need is another scandal that ends in 'gate'...to take people's minds off the unequal distribution of wealth issue.'

'Good job on screwing up the economy. Now make global warming worse.'

"Harrharrharr! I love cheap girls who are willing to show me their juicy tax loopholes!!"

Corporate recycle: plastic/paper/empty promises.

Bernie Madoff

'He's an inspiration to us all -- he evaded the draft, taxes, AND questions.'

'I fail to note the significance of rising sea levels here on the 39th floor.'