Economy Conscious Soul Gifts

'This year I'm celebrating Valentines Day by myself, I have to economize.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

Global Warming.

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

The New A*****e

"I knew it!"

Kid to church leader: 'Is Heaven environmentally friendly?'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

Gas Prices

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Food Pyramid.

Bank robber looks worried, in Northern Rock bank run.

'No sooner had I gotten over religious guilt when I developed eco-guilt.'

"Teach a man to fish, and he'll know how to fish."

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

Echo Chamber Canyon

"What a nice old tree! Let’s carve a heart with our initials in it." "Oh, yes, how romantic! Wound an innocent life-form you know nothing about. God, I hate people."

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

'Al, I haven't seen you for ages! -- Where have you been?', 'Living within my income.'

Bio Oil Co.

Audrey M. Fishberg - Certified Financial Grief Counselor.

Rodin's Thinking Man.

'I appreciate all you've done to help me to relax but I still get nervous twinges when I get your bill.'

'I've found that poverty helps protect my identity.'

',,, You'll give me a lightning-quick crossover dribble and the ability to dunk, and all I owe you is my immortal soul ,,,'

Supermarket bill turns into snake

'Still ugly? Then come in and get p****d'

"Didn't you 'try before you didn't buy' last week?"

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."