Economic Wizard Pillows

Buy one, feel like you're buying three.

Squeeze on Public Spending.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Profit

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!