Economic Soothsayer Gifts

Economists.

"If I keep predicting a market crash, eventually I'll have to be right!"

2010 fortune teller.

"They're putting guard rails around the ledges. Looks like a good time to sell."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

"To say things are bad is an UNDERSTATEMENT...We're staring into a FINANCIAL ABYSS, the COLLAPSE of the banking sector...On the other hand some experts believe that things will be back to normal in a few months ."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'Why don't you start a small business with a loan from a bank?'

A collective sigh of relief.

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'