Economic Recession Gifts

'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'

More Toxic Assets.

Mario Draghi

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Sub-prime Bear

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

Post-corona road to recovery

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

Unconditional Surrender

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'Control tower, we're having difficulty taking off....'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

Financial crisis and layoffs

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

"As most MPs are lawyers that should give you a clue as to the mess we are in!"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'Since bottom line growth has been so robust, big business wants to thank you all in advance for not applying with them.'

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

The Recession Hole.

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.

'Crisis'

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'