Economic Pessimists Pillows

A New Doom and Gloom Will Open Here Soon.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

How Trickle Down Economics Work

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

Tom's last day.

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Die alone"

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

Imagine the mess the world woudl be in if we didn't have the best executives money can buy running it.

EuroPygmees

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'. . . What if we sell Britain as an offshore platform to the EU and lease it back from them?'

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

'Turned out nice again.'