Economic Ironist Gifts

Man stands outside investment bank holding sign: 'Will work for huge bonuses.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

'For the economy to improve we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-wealthy to the wealthy.'

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

"Who the hell is responsible for this no-blame culture???"

"We're making progress."

"Willis has kindly agreed to sum up our current financial position."

VEGETATE.

"It's a bill."

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

Income Tax Return

'Who's the wise guy?'

"You're operation went smoothly, but we're very concerned about some post-surgical insurance complications."

"He's all the stimulus I need."

'We can't increase taxes on the rich - the rich are the ones who made America what it is today - and you only hope...someday...'

"Such a shame when he was THIS close to emptying his inbox!"

"Senior management is happy for us to manage the changes ourselves apart from a couple of things."

First Church of Fiscal Morality: The Meek Shall Inherit The National Debt!

"We're moving you to another office, Norman."

'Would it be possible to fire last year's 40,000 employees a second time?'

"I'm selling all my old passwords that were stolen."

"Oh, you know, I'm just a typical guy in a boring suit, working in the corporate industry."

'Help! As a contrarian I invested in rotary and supersized phones.'

'What about if we give our major stockholders samples of our antidepressants?'

'Is it okay to put my credit card payment on my credit card?'

'You're fine, but I don't like the looks of your health insurance.'

Congrats, you genius! Thanks to you I've found ways to lose my money I've never thought of!'

'I wish you had the fortitude that the government has. Being in debt doesn't stop THEM from spending!'