Economic Interest Pillows

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

Transcendental Litigation

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"Well, it looks like the shit finally hit the fan. So, who wants to lick the blades?"

I love you

"Anyway, enough about our current pollution levels. . ."

'Your honor if the defendant is found guilty, it could have an adverse impact on my career!'

'How did your meeting with your insurance company go?'

Coronavirus and the Reopening of Restaurants

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

"I say you sneaking that case of toilet tissue in the house early this morning. Dad. . . What are you up to?"

'Useless Tools: Jelly Spanner.'

Ape.

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

'He's very Territorial Army.'

"Question: are we liable for dumping waste in the swamp?"

Underappreciated Pride Days

"He's self-isolating."

Life in the Time of Coronavirus. . .

Snake charmer with tiger tail in basket.

"Its getting so bad that I never leave home anymore."

"Oh no - another American has Ebola. They're sending him back to the U.S...What would you do if it were me?"

A tree falls towards a house

You disgust me

A horde of misers

The end of the quarantine is near!

'No, no... I said your wife has multiple organisms... not orgasms! This is not a good thing.'

The Draft

'It's fifty bucks for a half hour, and of course ten percent of that goes to the disaster relief fund.'