Economic Crisis Comedian Pillows

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Trickledown economics

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Repossessions

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We buy and sell them.'

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

Government Handouts.

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'