Economic Alchemist Gifts

I finally turned lead into gold, and now my financial advisor tells me he's turned it all back into lead?

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

The Shrinking Dollar.

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Tempest in a Teapot

The burden of carrying the Euro.

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'Here you are, Simmons!'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

"Efficiency savings...protect front line services BLAH! BLAH! refocus on core objectives BLAH BLAH!"

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'You can't fire me! I'm too big to fail!'

Recession

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'