Eco-eater Pillows

'...due to a larger amount of insect parts.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

View to the Future

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

All Natural Nothing

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."