Eco-dancer Gifts

Planning our eco-dance is a blast. Maybe for you. I'll do a ton of work then have no one to go with. I'm on it. We'll start and environmentally friendly match-up site. It's carbon dating. No greeniac left behind.

Michael Jackson.

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

The Stripper

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

"I wrote this song for Catalina, the woman who's taught me almost everything..."

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

Randy – you're a male stripper! Senor Stud, ma'am. Don't be a dope. I know it's you. You have me confused with someone else. So this is how you make your money. Does Rudy know? Rudy? I do find the dumb act very sexy. Senor Stud is a Ph.D. In love.

House Plant Party

'This new star sends out periodic pulses in a very appealing rhythm -- I think I'll name it 'Bossa Nova.''

The Third Day of Christmas

'All our food is locally sourced.'

Wind Energy Systems Inc.

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

Lily Costume

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

'WOOHOOO! Yeah BABY, yeah!' (at a zebra strip show)

"At least I won't have to jump out of these silly things for a living any more."

Dancing with the Star Wars

Make Your Own

"It's hard to hear through all the music but I think they said something about discovering nightlife on Mars."

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

"Sure her act is legal in a nightclub - but she was doing it in the street."

"A stripper in Ohio claims her privacy was violated when a patron took a picture of her while she was performing, thus invoking her Constitutional right to irony."

'I'm not sure who to support. One is spoilt for choice these days!'

"Whatever happens, Jenkins, you'll always have your dancing to fall back on."

Hugo Boss is Planning a Vegan Suit!

'This is just the warm up.'

'Solar heat is fine, but I miss our privacy!'

Endangered Feces Act