Eco-conscious Couch Potatoes Pillows

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"This is Sunday. Monday's down the hall."

"I see a couch."

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

I love thunderstorms!

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

The inevitability of animal husbandry.

You're only as old as you feel!

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

RETIREMENT VOWS

'We added on to the couch.'

"It's amazing! A couple of inches of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!"

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"You can't possibly have winter cabin fever! Winter just officially started a couple days ago."

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

"In order to survive the shark needs to move constantly."

Victimless TV

"Devin agrees with the president. Americans are dreamers too."

Invention to hit the TV.

'Striped cats make me appear thinner.'

'The Pharaohs had gold and jewellery as burial objects. When I'm dead, I want the TV remote control to get buried with me.'

Surfing Beach.

"It's his contribution to the environment"

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

'So much for the wild, blue yonder!' (hikers on spotting a TV-watching bear.

'Come on, dad - energy efficient is the new couch potato.'

'I've been thinking, Mother - if the whole civilised world was destroyed and we were the only ones left alive . . . there's no way I'd want to change a thing'

'Read me! Read me!'