Eclipses Pillows

"Damnedest eclipse I'VE ever seen."

"Hey! - What's this I hear about you ECLIPSING me?"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

New open space office design that promotes balance in the workplace.

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

Easy chair exercise machines

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'YOU try telling him!'

Sheep Escalator

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

Had a Moonlight Madness Sale During an Eclipse.

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

"Solar eclipse."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Psst. We're starting an escape tunnel. Pass it on."

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

Corporate urban legends

'Okay, ready to begin the workout? And... finished. Good job!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"No you can't borrow my eclipse glasses. I told you not to eat yours."

Shadow

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.