Eccentric Storytellers T-Shirts

"Don't admire anything. He might give it to you."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Fresh pepper?"

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

'Don't you ever knock?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- King Of The Commune

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"You there - shoo!"

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

"Ok, here he comes, remember the story, I've had a bad asthma attack..."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Tom Waits.

'Ah, Baker! Still the company's lone voice in the wilderness, I see!'

"I'm waiting in for a plumber."

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

What Newton didn't see

'I bet you think you have known interesting people before, not like me. I am truly fascinating.'

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

Sketchy Neighborhood

"You have turned out well, my sons. I can go in peace."

"The whole world is crazy except for me and thee...and sometimes I wonder about thee!"

John Betjeman

"This is where your grandfather is buried."

"Roger picked up an interesting object on one of the islands we passed through..."