Eccentric Storytellers T-Shirts

"Don't admire anything. He might give it to you."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Fresh pepper?"

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'Don't you ever knock?'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"You there - shoo!"

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

"Ok, here he comes, remember the story, I've had a bad asthma attack..."

"I'm waiting in for a plumber."

'Ah, Baker! Still the company's lone voice in the wilderness, I see!'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

Tom Waits.

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

Sketchy Neighborhood

What Newton didn't see

'I bet you think you have known interesting people before, not like me. I am truly fascinating.'

"This is where your grandfather is buried."

"The whole world is crazy except for me and thee...and sometimes I wonder about thee!"

"You have turned out well, my sons. I can go in peace."

"Roger picked up an interesting object on one of the islands we passed through..."

'Doctor, before you meet the press to explain your theory about space aliens communicating with us, maybe you should take the tin foil off of your head.'