Eccentric Aesthetics T-Shirts

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Elton John

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

"Derek has re-invented himself."

"Love the exposed chessboard."

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"

'Thanks for coming in . ..now I can finish that ankle bracelet I'm working on.'

Sketchy Neighborhood

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

"We can't let the king die, but we also can't do anything that suggests he needs saving..."

Sinking Ship Tattoo

"The Usual But With Some Added Creepyness"

'I got it at a sale of slightly irregular clocks.'

Wanting to get into the novelty business, Gerald started off small with his 'Beard of Bee.'

He had gobs of money and a trophy wife...

"It all started when we adopted a highway."

Now there's something you don't see every day.

"Honestly, Harold, no one else but you would put up a poster about a lost sock!"

101 uses of a dead cat: hatstand