Eccentric Activity Lover Pillows

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

"Fresh pepper?"

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Imagine

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Strange man has a nose monocle.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Who are These People?"

The Hooligan.

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

"You there - shoo!"

Flatware Follies.

'To hell with the rules.'

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"Come at me, Bro!"

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

Man talking to a tree.

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

The Water Diviner

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Well, Dear, if you must roam about the house dressed as a chicken, that's fine, but please close the drapes when you do!'