Eastern Medicine Fanatic Pillows

Man undergoes acupuncture while doctor looks at acupressure gauge.

New Age Store.

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Witch Doctor

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

Mass Confucian

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

Acupressure Gauge

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

'Talk about temperamental. All I did was suggest he try vinegar and brown paper.'

Wang Yangming opens a heart.

"Just one more..."

1999 Influenza Chic.

Porcupine Acupuncture

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'