Earthworm Whiz Pillows

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Nerd tryouts.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

'Where are you going?'

"You're looking gorgeous tonight darling..."

Dissectum Paniculata

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

'Make it look like an accident.'

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

1080P New Year's Resolution

"So anyway, I found a worm on the path the other day and carried it to safety. Then I hear: 'Hey! I was heading the other way!"

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

Worm Appreciation Society!

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

Child warning mum not to punish her because only she can work the internet

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'Here's your problem. You're using third-generation software but you're a first-generation computer user.'

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"

'I wish I could help...'

'That was quite a storm we had last night!'

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

'Rather than learning how to solve that, shouldn't we be learning how to operate software that can solve that problem?'