Earthworm Whiz Pillows

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Nerd tryouts.

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Where are you going?'

Dissectum Paniculata

"You're looking gorgeous tonight darling..."

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

'Make it look like an accident.'

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

1080P New Year's Resolution

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

Worm Appreciation Society!

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

"So anyway, I found a worm on the path the other day and carried it to safety. Then I hear: 'Hey! I was heading the other way!"

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

Child warning mum not to punish her because only she can work the internet

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'Here's your problem. You're using third-generation software but you're a first-generation computer user.'

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"

'I wish I could help...'

'That was quite a storm we had last night!'

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

"If you can't bring me cash, bring me stuff I'll be able to sell on eBay.!

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'