Earth Observer T-Shirts

"Man, they can't do anything right. Half the countries are underdeveloped. The other half are overdeveloped."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Another fly-over planet."

It's only a can of mace. If you don't learn to stop overreacting, we'll never fit in.

God not too happy with the Humans.

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

CORONA BLACKDOWN

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Flags

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

Duck Hunt

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The prying mantis,

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

What does aloof mean?

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Monkeys/Humans in the zoo.