Earning A Phd T-Shirts

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

Doctorate Stand

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Eternal Student.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Scientists are sexy

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

math faculty

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

"I totally meant to do that."

"I wrote my thesis on 'Tears of A Clown: Irony or Paradox?'"

Macroscope

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

PhD

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

A scientist with Biology, Chemistry and Science Trivia certificates on his wall

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

"Your doctoral thesis so much reminds me of mine. No, wait a minute. I never had a doctoral thesis."

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

"A Ph.D. in physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

'It's kind of depressing: We've spent three years on this research paper, and probably only ten people in the World will ever read it...'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"