Earning A Master's Degree Pillows

"Working on your M.Ed. thesis when you should be teaching is not closing the research-classroom gap."

"Is it that bad?"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Graduates on their phones

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

'Remember me?'

His Master's Thesis.

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Ohm. He has a degree in electrical engineering!

"I wrote my thesis on 'Tears of A Clown: Irony or Paradox?'"

"Now that you mention it, I think that I too may have a Master's in Education."

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Cat Kung Fu

Someone being taught how to conduct an orchestra.

PhD

'I'm obliged to warn you that I am a Master of Business Administration!'

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

"Your doctoral thesis so much reminds me of mine. No, wait a minute. I never had a doctoral thesis."

The Diligent Student

"This guy's good!"

"Okay, but what about computer skills?"