Early Society Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I just invented the 'church' - It's for donating money to."

The first car accident.

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

The International and May Day Terrorism

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

Cut!

The discovery of asparagus.

Those Were The Days

"Daddy's working from home today."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"The invention of taxidermy."

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"Don't make me pull over this mammoth!"

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"For drinks or dinner?"

Sober Tooth Tiger

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"...One careful owner, not much mileage. In fact, I only invented it last week."

This castle manager job better be for real.