Early Nights Pillows

"Did you know Halloween was your mom's favorite holiday? She would dress you guys as pinatas, and then all the kids would chase you back home. She liked getting to bed early."

In basket-case.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

French Early Bird

And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

Infinity Tavern

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

1,572 Performances.

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

"Consensus on a Friday afternoon... what a lovely way to begin the weekend!"

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

9-5, 5-9

Waking Up With Rooster.

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"Another double martini, please. My sense of balance and proportion couldn't make it tonight so I'm drinking for two."

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'