Early Childhood Recollector T-Shirts

"What's the earliest memory you have, Armstrong?" "Well... I was very, very young..." "Everything was dark. I was in some sort of liquid and there was a flexible, hose-like thing connecting my belly button to some sort of sack that was enveloping me. I heard a woman's beautiful muffled voice singing 'Row row row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream.' And I decided then and there I would one day corner the boat market." "Very. Bad. Man."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

A boy with a camera

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'Music & Gym'

Green Balloon

Robert Drake

Gramaphone Man.

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

"Nobody loved little William Poopy-Pants."

Bear Office Worker

His master's voice

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

'Shredded wheat cereal, cracked wheat toast, and crushed pineapple. I didn't do it. It came that way.'

'Cheese.'

Paper Bombs

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

'Sorry, we don't stock Sheryl Crow.'

'You have a wonderfully tidy mind, Diane!'

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

I always frame yours, J.B.

"I'm no shrink, but it sounds like you have some unresolved issues with Lucy."

music store

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it."

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."