E-commerce Fan Prints

"Oh, I don't forage for acorns anymore....I just order them online!"

"Post office drone is right on time."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

E-Baying @ The Moon

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Gerald Ratner's return

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

Music to their ears.

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

Internet Shoplifting

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'