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'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Supply Chain

Gerald Ratner's return

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Customer Convention

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

'We're e-bankrupt.'

Terms and conditions

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'