Dye Disaster Master T-Shirts

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Man's cooking explodes.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

"Wow! You've made a lovely job of those shelves in the hallway Gary!"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

My boat

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

A botched home improvement job.

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'He may be a brilliant academician, but he's even dumber than the rest of us when he tries to do anything practical around the house.'

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

Harry believed in having the right tool for the wrong job.

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

"The feds wanted to put me in witness protection, but after they saw what you did with my website, they figured you could hide me better."

:Time to check out a YouTube video?"

Watching TV through window - "You should have measured the doorway first."

'Does this mean you're going to fix the leaky bathroom faucet?'

'Worst chainsaw massacre I've ever seen.'

Volcano and plane

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'

'The directions were easy to understand...until you got past step 2.'