Duck Whisperer Pillows

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'The duck! The duck! I want the duck!'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

'Looks like you're having a pretty good season, eh Ben?'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"Be wary of humans kids! They either throw you bread or try to shoot you..."

"It's no fun when the ducks stop returning your calls, is it, pal?"

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

'That's a nice looking suit you've got there, mister. If you want it to stay that way you'll hand over that sandwich!'

'To be honest I'm getting really fed up with this weather.'

"Most realistic decoy I've ever seen!"

'Miss Wilson, please send in the ducks.'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Think about it, you already look like a duck: If I can teach you to quack like a duck, we'll be able to carry out serious pranks!"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

'So what's it like riding in first class?'