Dual Career Dazzler Gifts

J.J. Smithers: Veterinarian and Taxidermist

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Balancing work and family

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'I can see you doing very well in this organization, eventually replacing me. So.. you're fired!'

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

University of xylongatnyfexodyl never heard of it

The Four Tops in Concert

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

"He retired as an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

"Norman's really into wild paddling."