Dry Wit Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You can't miss it - it's the third mirage on the left."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

Snowman of the Apes

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Stephen Fry.

Oscar Wilde

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

A frog makes his own pond from tears.

Jugular Vein

Aleksandr Griboyedov

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

This beer has given me the courage to invite you back to my place. This wine has given me the courage to invite you to drop dead.

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

To some people, sarcasm is a second language.

"You're doing that thing again where you're my husband and you're next to me in bed."

Another day, another conquest

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

'Please sir - all of them!'

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

Groucho Marx

Brains aren't everything - to some people they're nothing.

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

"He loved self-referential humor."

'Give me your bag Oscar, if you want to do the genius gag.'

"I've been in the desert for a really long time and I've got a bad case of dry eyes. Do you have any eye drops?"