Dry Wit Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You can't miss it - it's the third mirage on the left."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Snowman of the Apes

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Stephen Fry.

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

A frog makes his own pond from tears.

"You're doing that thing again where you're my husband and you're next to me in bed."

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

Jugular Vein

To some people, sarcasm is a second language.

Aleksandr Griboyedov

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

'Please sir - all of them!'

Brains aren't everything - to some people they're nothing.

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"I've been in the desert for a really long time and I've got a bad case of dry eyes. Do you have any eye drops?"

'Give me your bag Oscar, if you want to do the genius gag.'

"He loved self-referential humor."

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'